Andrew Cuomo’s American Revolution

Months before the coronavirus pandemic began, Gov. Andrew Cuomo was floating the idea of joining forces with neighboring states to legalize recreational marijuana. While the coronavirus pandemic has put that effort on hold, the crisis has nevertheless led a regional confederacy of northeastern states to band together.

New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Delaware are joining forces to purchase medical supplies and coordinate the eventual reopening of their economies – declaring their independence from the president’s “total” authority to reopen states.

Though Cuomo’s press briefings are a far cry from Lexington and Concord, they’re certainly being heard ’round the world. So break out the fifes and drums; here’s how the newly rebellious seven states compare to the 13 colonies that started a revolution back in 1776 – and how Cuomo stacks up against our one-dollar founding father.

Leaders

Thirteen colonies: George Washington could not tell a lie after cutting down his father’s cherry tree.

Seven states: Andrew Cuomo was his father’s political hatchet man who likes to Get Things Done.

Defining document

Thirteen colonies: Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776

Seven states: The Cuomo Powerpoint Presentation of April 13, 2020 

Founding idea

Thirteen colonies: No taxation without representation

Seven states: No workstation without respiration

First Capitol

Thirteen colonies: New York, New York

Seven states: Albany, New York

The No. 2

Thirteen colonies: Alexander Hamilton was Washington’s right-hand man.

Seven states: Secretary to the Governor Melissa DeRosa, like Hamilton, is non-stop.

Revolutionary adversaries

Thirteen colonies: King George III of England – the “mad king who lost America”

Seven states: President Donald Trump of Queens – @RealDonaldTrump on Twitter

Legislative body

Thirteen colonies: A Continental Congress with distinguished gentlemen from across the colonies

Seven states: A 21-member regional council with each governor’s top lieutenants

Key weapon

Thirteen colonies: Pennsylvania rifles

Seven states: New York-made personal protective equipment and NYC Clean hand sanitizer

Early challenges

Thirteen colonies: Sharing the costs of revolutionary debt

Seven states: Sharing the costs of stockpiling ventilators

Rocky starts

Thirteen colonies: The ragtag Continentals were being trounced by the British until the colonists turned things around at the Battle of Trenton.

Seven states: The states can’t seem to agree on one set of marching orders. Can Cuomo find his own Delaware to cross?