New York is suing New Jersey. What else should we sue for?

New York sued New Jersey on March 14 for trying to pull out of the Waterfront Commission of New York Harbor. The bistate commission is meant to crack down on dockside organized crime, but leaders in Trenton claimed it has outlived its usefulness. But if New York is going to go after our neighbor in court, we’ve got some other ideas for lawsuits.

Claiming to have better bagels

All the best bagels shops in New Jersey are just trying to replicate what New York bagel shops already do better.

When Jersey people say they’re from New York

“Where are you from?” “New York.” “Oh really, what neighborhood?” “Uh, well, technically I live in Teaneck.”

Taking most of Ellis Island

The states have tussled before, and the U.S. Supreme Court decided in 1998 that 83% of Ellis Island is part of New Jersey. Let’s have the court revisit – and take it back.

Not taking Staten Island

Staten Islanders keep on voting to secede from the city. Would they be happier with New Jersey? We love our southernmost county, but it’s a long ride to the rest of New York, while New Jersey’s close enough for a deer to swim there.

Traffic problems in Fort Lee

OK, “Bridgegate” already made it through the courts, but people trying to flee New Jersey for the city makes for the worst traffic in the nation. And once Jersey drivers make it into New York City? Oy vey.

Delaying the Gateway Program

It’s not just car traffic. Then-Gov. Chris Christie pulled the plug on a new Hudson River rail tunnel in 2010, and it’s been a headache to make progress on the expensive project ever since.

Claiming Frank Sinatra

Start spreading the news – he was born in Hoboken, but he’s a New Yorker.

For taking the Jets and Giants

The Meadowlands stole our local football teams decades ago, leaving New York with just one team. (Go Bills!) Now some random fan is suing for $6 billion to get the teams to move back to New York, and the whole state should join him.