New York City

How to keep warm while dining outdoors

Hizzoner is letting restaurants continue the COVID-era accommodation. Here are some tips to make it work.

Now that New York City will have outdoor dining year round, how will you stay warm?

Now that New York City will have outdoor dining year round, how will you stay warm? HINE NOUVELLE/SIPA/Shutterstock

By Caitlin Dorman

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New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has finally come around to year-round outdoor dining, but the actual guidelines for restaurants looking to keep patrons warm in the colder months are scant. Luckily, we’ve got you covered (sometimes literally) below, with a rundown of how to stay warm while dining outside.

  1. Set up tables next to a burning cop car, because we’re an anarchist jurisdiction baby.
  2. Get an extra mask to use solely as a neck warmer.
  3. Commission New York’s prisons to make HotHands hand warmers instead of hand sanitizer.
  4. Wait for the second wave to really hit and then get a big ol’ fever from COVID-19.
  5. Incorporate the overflowing trash bins on the street as part of your set-up, and have customers DIY barbecue.
  6. Steal an authentic fur coat from an MIA ultra-wealthy Manhattanite – they won’t miss it in St. Thomas.
  7. Wait until climate change gets just a little bit worse.
  8. Trust de Blasio that “winters are different now” and don’t bother.

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