Anthony Weiner is shipping up to Massachusetts (to serve his time)

The Boston Red Sox aren’t in baseball’s Fall Classic this year, so as a consolation prize New York City is sending them a lifelong New York Mets fan – he’ll live at a federal prison in Ayer, Massachusetts, an hour drive from Boston. Anthony Weiner has to report to the federal medical center on the morning of Nov. 6, according to two bochincheros. The convicted former congressman and disruptive 2013 New York City mayoral candidate will join the all-male population of more than 1,000 prisoners.

Weiner, who had a reputation for being a vociferous tough guy, found a way to alleviate his concerns about the things many first-time felons worry about, like being raped in prison. Our source told us that Weiner hired at least two “prison consultants” (damn, there are consultants for everything) that have answered all of his questions about what to expect once he’s an inmate. He’s also spoken to other former federal prisoners. However, one well-informed bochinchero tells us that Devens, the federal medical center, “will not be the Club Fed type of low-security facility. ... Devens has inmates of all security classifications.” On the other hand, Weiner may feel somewhat safe since Devens doesn’t have “the worst of the worst” criminals among its prisoners. It’s assumed that Weiner will be getting treatment for his sexting compulsion. As described by the main bochinchero here: “It’s a pretty good designation for him. It’s known as a safe place and has a great gym and exercise facility.”

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It also has an area to play floor hockey. It won’t be like playing at Chelsea Piers, where the ex-político played, but given Weiner’s love for the game, it’s a sure bet he’ll have a stick in his hands chasing pucks when he’s not getting therapy. This all sounds pretty neat for a guy convicted of a crime – but we think he should still plan to sleep with one eye open at least for the start of his 21-month sentence.

Remember, gente, it’s all bochinche until it’s confirmed.

Correction: An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated the date on which Weiner must report to the federal medical center.