Editor’s note: If someone’s choosing not to vote, call them out, even if they are one of your kids

My son Paul recently dropped a bomb when talking about the upcoming presidential election. “I’m not going to vote because we already know what the outcome will be in New York. So it doesn’t really matter,” he said. Here was my 25-year-old giving up his right to vote, because he didn’t see how it would have an impact in a state where Democrats tend to win elections. He is focused, of course, on the presidential election. Little does he know that his vote on six ballot proposals and on civil and supreme court judges would very much count – even if he lives in a deep blue part of Brooklyn. Now, if we were in Pennsylvania where he was last registered to vote, it would have been a different story, because it’s a swing state, he told me. His siblings still live there and reported in that they are voting. 

Robert, 30, said he was tempted to vote early, “just to get it over with.” Andrew, 27, preferred voting on Election Day. “I’m not very fond of this year’s election personally. But, I do know the importance of it, especially being in a swing state,” he said, adding he was tired of the political ads. My 22-year-old Simon, who is trans and like Paul is from the closely watched subgroup Generation Z, also expressed frustration, but was still determined to vote. “Despite the answer seeming ‘clear’ enough to most liberal people, I still fought with myself over my decision,” they said, upset over the war in Gaza and insisting that their vote needs to count, “since I’m trans and I’d like to live freely like everyone else. There’s a lot on my mind I guess.” And on their father’s too, which is why my response, going back to Paul, was to out him in this note for his decision. “Yes, I understand that too,” he said.